Two years ago, I did something terrifying relating to those keys.
...I parked in the gym parking lot, walked Beach in, dropped my car keys inside her team folder in the filing cabinet, and let people know where the keys were and where I was going. Then I left on foot to run to the park.
On the way to the park, I crossed the freeway bridge and thought, "my car is in the lot, the keys are easy to find, and the kid is in good hands. If I'm going to do this, this would be the time and the place. I should jump–shouldn't I?"
The question "should I?" hung high over speeding traffic. So I stopped in the middle of the bridge and waited for the answer to come...
Back when my son was in pre-school, a mom dropped her child off at school, went home, put the baby down for a nap, and killed herself with the knowledge that when she didn't return for pick-up, it would trigger, in the shortest period of time, the safe recovery of both of her children. Of course, 'safe' minus a dead mom.
Secrets, denial, and silence are the weapons that kill people.
My reason for bringing this up isn't about me. It's to remind us that we don't really know what is going on in the lives of most of the people moving around us. Life is bittersweet, beautiful, and at times hard to hold on to.